I have given up social media for Lent. One thing I have realized is that I use social media a lot. But not in the way that I thought. Yes, it’s a time suck. And yes, it’s full of drama, and gossip, and a million other things that I can certainly do without. But I also use it to stay in touch with family and friends. For example, I had no idea a dear friend had lost her father. Or that another friend’s grandchild was born.
I also use it to document our life. More so than I realized. Almost daily, I find myself grabbing my phone to post something cute or funny the boys have said or done. Then I remember….I have given up Facebook. Crap!
Inevitably, my need to share the cuteness prevails, and one of my poor friends gets inundated with text messages about all the darling stuff my kids are doing. Poor Lisa:)
At any rate, more for me than for anyone else, I have decided to document some of the cuteness here, on my blog. Because if I don’t write this stuff down, I won’t remember. One day, I will wake up, and these cute, sweet, baby boys will be men.
Like when Mackey pats Drue on the head and says, “Atta boy, Boogie.”
Or when Mackey greets Drue every morning with, “Morning Boogie, You have a good nappy?” To which Drue responds, “You weava me alone!”
(Drue is NOT a morning person!)
When Mackey asks me to wipe off the “sprinkles” on his fingers when he’s been in the tub too long.
Or when Drue asks for a cookie.
“Drue, what do you want for breakfast?”
“You can’t have a cookie for breakfast. What do you want?”
“No, you can’t have a cookie. What else?”
When Drue dropped his cup, but caught it mid-air and Mackey said, “Good catch buddy!”
That they have started to call each other buddy ALL THE TIME!
When they were sitting in the back seat, and Mackey turned to Drue and asked, “You my sweet boy, Boogie?”
When one of them falls down, and the other immediately runs to his brother’s aid asking, “You okay, buddy?”
When we were visiting family in Nebraska, and Cousin Ella had a toy that Mackey wanted. Drue snatched it from her hands, and gave it to his brother. They look out for each other!
When Drue is still sleeping, and Mackey asks, “Where’s my Drue?”
When Mackey asks for “ice crappies” for breakfast. (Rice Krispies)
When Drue gets right in my face and gives me a hug and kiss with such intensity.
When Drue says, “You stop it right now! You go timeout!”
When Drue says something that no one understands but him, and then says, “Okay?” And you want to say yes, but you aren’t really sure what you’re agreeing to.
When Drue says, “WOOK!”
Sometimes, I wish I could just have a camera crew follow them around all day so I could capture their little personalities in action. I wish that I could box up their toddlerhood, and keep them small forever.
Even though my hiatus from social media has been nice, I will be glad when April 21st comes around, and I can once again document our lives with my phone:)
I post a lot on Facebook. Status updates of the funny things the boys say or do. Pictures of the boys. Updates about our family. With Chris’ family living in Nebraska, it’s an easy “catchall” for keeping everyone informed.
I have to say, in two and half years of regular posting, I’ve not once had a negative experience. Until today.
Last night, I posted, what I thought, was a funny update about Mackey sticking his bum in the air and asking me to spank him, after I’d ask him “Do you want mommy to spank your hiney?” It really was funny. And so stinking cute!
Anyone who knows me, knows that I don’t really spank my children. A swat from time to time? Yes! Absolutely! A hand slap if they are about to touch a burning stove. You bet! But, I have never fully spanked either of them. Neither has Chris. We aren’t against it, per say, it just hasn’t been necessary.
You can imagine my surprise when a Facebook “friend”…a woman whom I’ve actually only met one time…a woman who really does not know me, or my family AT ALL, felt it was appropriate for her to make a comment about my parenting. About how spanking is bullying. About how “You are better than that, Cali.”
I was dumbstruck. I had 1001 responses running through my mind. In the end, I decided it wasn’t worth my time, or energy to comment, and I just deleted the comment. However, almost 5 hours later, I am still struck by how much her comment bothers me.
I try…really try…not to make judgments about how other people parent. Being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done, and EVERY.SINGLE.DAY I worry that I am not doing it right! I question and second guess, and research, and then triple guess every decision I make with regard to my boys. I’m already worried about their kindergarten experience, and we still have 3 years until that’s even a concern! So, for someone who knows nothing about me. Knows nothing about my family to make a comment like that…it really just pissed me off! And I needed to vent.
I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on this idea of a beautiful mess. It pretty much describes my life. I am immeasurably blessed that these two sweet boys call me momma. But my life is messy. And I’m learning to embrace my inability to “do it all”
It’s time I confess something…..I am a horrible housekeeper. HORRIBLE! I know. I know. You’re shocked. Although, to anyone who knows me well, this is not shocking at all. I just have way better things to do with my time. And while I feel I’m far from my own personal episode of Hoarders, Chris K would disagree. Lately, it’s harder for me to see a pile of dirty dishes, because I know that it represents 30 minutes that I was playing with play-doh, or reading books instead. I don’t see finger prints on the front door, I see two little faces peeking out, waiting for daddy to get home. I don’t see crumbs on the floor, I remember how, for the first time, they asked for goldfish instead of “babas”, and how it made me sad. Because they are growing up entirely too fast.
My guys are starting preschool this week. PRESCHOOL! We went to Open House last night, and I found myself wanting to tell their teachers everything about them. As a teacher myself, that used to drive me crazy. When parents would give me all kinds of “important” information about their child. But now—now I get it. I want their teachers to know and appreciate my children as I do. I want them to know that Drue screams to express any emotion, and that Mackey gets his feelings hurt super easily, and covers his face to cry. That, at our house, a hug means “I’m sorry”, and that we encourage Drue to fight back when Mackey is picking on him.
My babies are growing up. And before I can blink, they will be telling me NOT to kiss them in front of their friends, and asking me NOT to tuck them in at night, and begging me NOT to read them stories or sing them songs. So, for now, I’m embracing this time in our life, crumbs on the floor and all, and trying to remember that this is all too fleeting. And no one will remember how clean my house was, or whether or not I served store bought cookies for dessert.
My house is not now, and probably never will be, spotless. Or even 100% picked up. There are always going to be 10 pairs of shoes going up the stairs, dishes in the sink, crumbs on the floor, clean laundry on the couch, and stacks of “stuff” on various surfaces. And I’m kind of okay with that. Because for every mess that I leave untouched, I get a beautiful moment in return.This post is dedicated to Emily at The Anderson Crew. Whom I have never met, but who inspires me daily with her honest posts about raising 6 children. To my sweet, sweet friend Shea, over at the Empty Bobbin. Just ask her about the time she showed me her kids’ lunch boxes:) And my dear friend, Allison at Sincerely Designs. Who sends me pictures of her kitchen when it is less than perfect. And if learning to embrace her Beautiful Mess, just like me. Thanks for keeping it real, girls!
My guys will be two tomorrow.
I honestly can’t believe how fast they have become their own tiny people. They have opinions, and ideas, and they pretend, and joke, and tease, and…it boggles my mind. That they are TWO…yet they can DO all these things. It’s so incredible to me to actually watch them learn things. To see their little minds at work figuring out the world, and their place in it.
And they are funny! I never knew toddlers could be so hilarious!
And I love them. Oh, do I love them. Sometimes I think too much. If that’s even possible. To love someone too much. I hope not.
When I think back on their start in this world…I can’t help but feel humbled and oh-so-thankful for St. Luke’s Hospital and the NICU family. Our guys spent their first 7 weeks there. I remember ever nurse who took care of my babies as if they were her own. I remember Nurse Mary telling me over, and over, “YOU are their mom, therefore YOU know what’s best for your babies” Nurse Michelle would fill my water jug with diet coke if I was having a rough day, and tell me not to tell anyone it was her:) Dr. John reminded us that “on the meter stick of worry”, our adventure in the NICU was only about an inch worth. And every day, the nurses, doctors, respiratory therapist, and social workers would remind me that this was temporary. And that our time in the NICU would be a distant memory. And they were right. It was temporary. But, I hold their memory in my heart.
My guys will be two tomorrow.
My guys who came into this world too early.
My guys who were known across the NICU as Wild Man 1 and WIld Man 2 because we hadn’t agreed upon names yet.
My guys who started out small, but mighty; who are now rocking “off the chart” status for both height and weight.
My guys who hit all of their developmental milestones well before they were supposed to.
My guys will be two tomorrow.
My guys who love trucks, and planes, and construction vehicles.
My guys who call fish “babas”, and who won’t go to bed without toy car in hand.
My guys who love to read books, watch Cars, and listen to Robin Thicke:)
My guys who have made me the luckiest momma in the whole-wide world.
Happy birthday my Little Men.
I can’t imagine not having twins.
When we found out we were having twins, neither of us was particularly surprised. And, I’m not sure either of us was ever like, “holy shit…we’re having twins!” We just knew there were going to be two of them, and that was sort of….the expectation.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard, “double trouble” during our pregnancy, I’d be retired in the Caribbean right now.
And while every second of the past, almost, two years has not been trouble free….I sometimes find myself feeling sorry for people who don’t have twins.
Our guys are best buds. They are the first person the other one looks for in the morning, and neither one will even think about going to bed without the other in tow. Drue sings Mackey to sleep, and Mackey makes sure Drue never gets too far out of sight. When we were in Colorado this summer, Drue loved to wander toward the water. And every time he did, Mackey chased after him, shouting, “Druuuuue! COME!” Not that Drue listened. He didn’t. Not even once. But the fact that Mackey wanted him close by melted my heart.
Having twins means having two of everything. At least in our house. Because, while we are learning to share, and take turns, and compromise; those are hard lessons when you are only 23 months old, and you’re fairly certain the entire universe revolves around you. They often hit each other, and bite, and pull hair, and yell and scream, and cry but, they also hug, and share, and apologize, and giggle. The giggling….oh the giggling. I could listen to that all day.
I love experiencing things all over again through their eyes. Sometimes, I don’t know who gets more excited…them or me. The zoo, the library, the swimming pool, a splash park. Plane rides, the beach, the mountains….the back yard. Currently, they are into construction machinery and tractors. I find myself driving around town searching for construction so I can show them bulldozers, dump trucks, and cranes in real life. Who knew road contraction could be so exciting?
Mackey never says his own name. It’s always MackeyandDrue. Just like that. One word. MackeyandDrue.
And that’s how they operate. Always together. Always looking to make sure the other isn’t too far away.
I recently uploaded all of our pictures (so far) of the boys to Shutterfly.
There are 2700 of them.
The boys have been here for 10 months, so that’s an average of 270 pictures a month, which is only about 8 pictures a day.
Not too bad when you consider we took that many pictures in Paris, and we were only there for 21 days.
10 months. Wow. It seems like yesterday, and 100 years ago all at the same time.
As I’ve been uploading all these pictures, of course I have been stopping every now and then to look at some of them.
So much has changed in the past 40-some-odd weeks. We’ve come a long way, from these guys…
To these guys…
They are growing so fast, and changing so much every day. It’s crazy to me that they will be a year old in just two months!
In two months I can stop buying formula! In two months, I can stop washing bottles!
When they were in the NICU, two months seemed like an eternity. Now, 2 months is no longer than a minute.
Tomorrow, we will attend the St. Luke’s NICU reunion. I can’t wait.
I can’t wait to see all the doctors and nurses, and respiratory therapists, and social workers, and counselors who welcomed our little men into the world, helped them get the best start possible.
At 10 months, their personalities are really starting to shine through.
Mackey is our sensitive guy. He wears his heart on his sleeve, and his feeling are easily hurt. When he’s sad, he cries big crocodile tears, sticks out that pouty lip, and has a cry that will break your heart. It’s kind of pathetic, really. He’s a big ol’ softy. He is a super happy boy, who loves to smile, and doesn’t know a stranger. He loves to be in the middle of whatever is going on. His favorite game is “Where’s Mackey?”, and he hides himself with a blanket, waiting for you to ask the question so he can surprise you with his big grin! His other favorite thing, is whatever Drue is playing with. He’s kind of a bully. Although, I’m sure he doesn’t mean it. But, in general, he wants whatever Drue has. And will take if from him without a second thought. At 10 months, Mack is pretty much only eating solid food, and at this point, we haven’t found much he won’t eat. Like his mom, he enjoys a good meal. And a good snack. And good dessert.
Food, in general, really.
And when you see him, you know he’s not missing any meals. The kid is solid.
The funniest thing about Mackey, is that he loves shiny objects. Anything shiny! Especially jewelry. And he loves to put his pointer finger on anything small and round. Buttons, nails, earrings, holes, specks of dust on the floor….if it’s small and round, he will find it.
Drue is our intense little man. He knows what he wants, and if he doesn’t get it, you will hear about it. He has a pretty fierce temper, but with that temper, also comes a passionate nature. He does everything with his whole heart. And he is funny. He makes the best faces.
Drue is kind of a momma’s boy. And maybe that’s a little bit my fault. His rough start in life has made me a bit more protective of him then I am of Mackey. Which maybe isn’t fair, but it’s true. But, truth be told, Drue can hold his own. And we joke that, even though Mackey is bigger, it will be Drue who gets into fights sticking up for his brother.
Drue prefers to assess a situation, while Mackey jumps right in. But, he is a bit more adventurous. He LOVES the water. And I love his giggle when he’s being tossed in the air by dad, or hung upside down.
Drue has a more discerning palate than Mack. Which is really just a nice way of saying he’s a picky eater.
The funniest thing about Drue, is that he loves to scream. I mean…LOVES it. And he has the loudest, most high-pitched scream ever. It scares people. But, for him, screaming doesn’t necessarily mean he’s mad…he just really enjoys it. Oh, and he also roars. Which Chris taught him months ago.
Our little, wild, men are growing up so fast. Soon they will be walking, and talking, and asking to borrow the car keys.
I’m not sure I’m ready for that.